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Nothing I write works, but one day that will change and when it does...stand back and watch out.
I have no "statement" to make about writing. I wasn't a writer, then I was, now I'm not again, but in the future I may be. Like P. G. Wodehouse, I have no message and I do not want...oh God the veg. are on and it smells like they may have boiled dry...
I do not talk to the press except for money, in which case I will talk at length [if I get paid by the word].
I am available with proper notice for TV chat shows [except the One Show].
I specialise in idleness, indolence and occasionally, apostasy [rarely but if it's an interesting situation...].
Violence, betrayal, brutality by the forces of the state...in other words, humour.